When I was doing a course that a counselor suggested I do as part of the divorce process, I met people going through the same mess as I was in. I sat quietly and listened, contributed at times and heard some truly terrible marriage break up stories.
What was interesting was most people had a hard break up, but the difficult period beginning weeks after the initial break up, not the actual moment of marriage death.
I reflected on how my first marriage ended.
My first wife ended it pretty much as this story tells it. We had been trying to patch things together but failed. We had just returned home from a date night, kids in bed, and she came out of the bathroom and said the above.
It was a calm and brave admission from her, and I can’t say I was upset, we were both miserable with each other.
Weeks later the troubles began. I do not believe there are many, if any, divorce that goes smoothly, mine was no different. Being human sucks sometimes.
Yet, even now, when I hear about people breaking up, the hardship is typically well after the initial break up.
With this story I just retold, basically, how the end of marriage event occurred. It wasn’t dramatic, upsetting or violent. It just died a natural death.
While writing this story, given it has been well over a decade since it happened, I reflected on what happened, the events leading up it, what happened after, and tried to fit it all into 100 words. But the more I tried, the more I understood that the story is not about the before and after, it was about THAT moment only. There was no need to detail the before, it is obvious in the story that both parties were over the marriage and were mutual in the ending.
I hope the story tells clearly how both wanted it over with without getting into the details.